Blog Archives

Flashback!! “Diary of a Brown Girl”

So back when I had my blog at blogspot, I wrote a blog entitled “Diary of a Brown Girl”. It’s one of my favorite to date. I just wanted to share with you all. Hope you enjoy and leave your thoughts!!

This post is going to be a little personal but I feel it is very relevant to things I have been seeing and hearing lately. You know what, not even lately. It’s more like all my life. I just recently have come to terms with what I consider is beautiful. I will even go as far as to say I’ve just recently within the past two years become more comfortable in my own skin.
Growing up my family always told me I was pretty and up to a certain age I believed them. Then I hit the teenage, “growing into myself” phase. When you live in a society that embraces “good hair”, lighter skin, small facial features, and small frames, and you don’t have ANY of that…you start to second guess yourself. I’m brown skin (in the summer super dark), big nose, big teeth, chinky eyed girl with a big round head,and fat cheeks. I didn’t know what standard of beauty I fit. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think I fit any standard of beauty and the world around me seemed to support my thought process.
Now I am a 21 year old young woman and I actually do consider myself to be attractive and my self esteem is pretty high. Yet even now, I STILL am confronted with my standards of beauty. On numerous occasions I have been the exception to guys, “light skin” rule. And in my head I’m thinking, “so I guess only light skin girls can be insightful, down to earth, friendly, (and whatever else they like)”. I guess if your brown skin/dark skin you’re automatically knocked of the desirable list. I have even had a distant cousin come to me and say, “wow, I have a dark skin cousin…..AND SHE’S PRETTY!!”. What does that even mean?!
And it’s horrible because children are the first to pick up on these things! As a young girl I loved Beyonce but had to play Kelly because I was dark skin and my friend was light skin. Let’s not even consider the fact that I was the only one that could sing. An example of how to a kid, the skin color takes precedence over talent. Times are changing but still this seems to be a problem still around.
I personally believe that every skin color is beautiful and should be embraced. I embrace my tan in the summer and refuse to be ashamed. It gets under my skin how even in the media “light is right” and “black is wack”. That probably wasn’t the best saying but I think you can get the over all effect of what I mean.
What do you think about society’s standard of beauty and it’s affect on the world around us?

“So, What Are We?” Things Girls Say

I have a problem with relationships today. I don’t understand them…..at all. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have understood them 20 years ago either but it seems like they were better off then than they are now. In today’s society, the first issue is that we expect things and have standards that us ourselves don’t even meet. You want someone who hasn’t had X amount of partners however you yourself have had 30. You want someone with a steady job yet you don’t have one yourself. You want someone with morals and values yet you yourself have none. I don’t understand how that’s fair and how you can even meet someone you are truly compatible with if you don’t even meet your own standards. We must be realistic in our pursuit of happiness. Know what you’re actually worth.

Now say you’re at the point in your “courtship” where you realize this may be someone that you want to pursue something with. The next step is to of course make them your “girlfriend/boyfriend” right? WRONG! According to my peers, taking things to the next level of your relationship can totally screw everything up. You two like each other so much, that to actually claim that person as your significant other would totally and utterly ruin what you have. Does the logic in this really make sense? or is this an excuse? I believe that in today’s society we put so much pressure on relationships to the point where we completely dodge the possibility of it and live in the mind set of “ignorance is bliss”. “If we subconsciously fool ourselves into thinking we’re not together, but actually be together, we’ll be successful”.. -_-…..okay.

Well, if that’s what we’re going to roll with, what the hell are we leading up to? I refuse to be your untitled girlfriend. Next thing you know we’ll have a 12 year old child and still say we’re just “talking”.

Ultimately, I think that our generation has intimacy,trust,and commitment issues. We’ve seen movies, heard songs, and listened to our friends and family talk about their heartaches so much, we let them into our own lives and act like they happened to us. I refuse to not have a happy and have a healthy relationship because I am always checking over my friends shoulder and she’s checking over mine. Maybe you can’t actually fully trust someone. But if that’s the case, can you ever really love someone? When do you stop being a skeptic and just live your life. What happens will happen and YOU WILL LIVE. But when “not putting anything past anyone” turns into an excuse to do what you want, we’re starting a horrific cycle over again.

All in all, NO relationship is perfect. And I’m definitely no expert but I’m not scared to try it out. I’m not scared of my feelings being hurt because at the end of the day, when it’s worth it, its really worth it. If your interested in someone tell them, because playing games get old.Quick. We have to grow up eventually and being a young “player” turns into you being a creep even quicker. I’m rambling again but you get my point.

Spongebobs and Patricks

Does anyone remember that Spongebob Squarepants episode, where Spongebob and Patrick ended up in a WWE wrestling style match because Spongebob called Patrick pink, and Patrick called Spongebob yellow? Well I’m watching it now. And as simple as these cartoons seem BOY are they digging deep. Why do we (and I say we because I am guilty of it too) get mad because people point us out as we are?

Many women get mad because they’re pointed out as emotional creatures. Then they proceed to throw a tantrum as to why that’s not fair and they shouldn’t be categorized (the irony huh)? Or men get mad because women point out how immature they can be. If the shoe fits, wear it! No, it is not fair that an entire group of people get categorized as one thing. But sometimes you really do have to take an honest look at yourself and say, “Maybe I really don’t listen to other people’s opinion” or “maybe I really should be a little more patient”.  This very way of thinking has saved me from some arguments as well as gotten me into some as well. Many people don’t like being told to look in the mirror, but it is definitely necessary.

People in our generation are so quick to point out everyone else’s flaws, that it actually catches me off guard to hear someone say “I’m Sorry”. While pointing the finger, you have no time for your own self discovery. My point is. if you are pink, then don’t be mad when someone calls you pink. And if you’re yellow, don’t deny it. We are what we are (even the negative things), if we acknowledge it, and embrace it, we can work with it and/or around it. Not ignore and deny it.

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Why I’m Not Consistent….ahem..

So…….I’m not consistent with blogging…at all. However I am going to give it another shot. What I find so hard is that I don’t necessarily care about documenting a celebrities every move, album release, movie, or outfit. Like I could honestly care less for the most part. I enjoy writing about more relevant things to my life. However those end up sounding like rambles. Now I don’t even necessarily even know where this one is leading up to, however its a start, So…….s/o to consistency or my lack thereof. But I’m working on it. First blog back = First step 🙂 Thanks for reading

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