Blog Archives

Flashback!! “Diary of a Brown Girl”

So back when I had my blog at blogspot, I wrote a blog entitled “Diary of a Brown Girl”. It’s one of my favorite to date. I just wanted to share with you all. Hope you enjoy and leave your thoughts!!

This post is going to be a little personal but I feel it is very relevant to things I have been seeing and hearing lately. You know what, not even lately. It’s more like all my life. I just recently have come to terms with what I consider is beautiful. I will even go as far as to say I’ve just recently within the past two years become more comfortable in my own skin.
Growing up my family always told me I was pretty and up to a certain age I believed them. Then I hit the teenage, “growing into myself” phase. When you live in a society that embraces “good hair”, lighter skin, small facial features, and small frames, and you don’t have ANY of that…you start to second guess yourself. I’m brown skin (in the summer super dark), big nose, big teeth, chinky eyed girl with a big round head,and fat cheeks. I didn’t know what standard of beauty I fit. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think I fit any standard of beauty and the world around me seemed to support my thought process.
Now I am a 21 year old young woman and I actually do consider myself to be attractive and my self esteem is pretty high. Yet even now, I STILL am confronted with my standards of beauty. On numerous occasions I have been the exception to guys, “light skin” rule. And in my head I’m thinking, “so I guess only light skin girls can be insightful, down to earth, friendly, (and whatever else they like)”. I guess if your brown skin/dark skin you’re automatically knocked of the desirable list. I have even had a distant cousin come to me and say, “wow, I have a dark skin cousin…..AND SHE’S PRETTY!!”. What does that even mean?!
And it’s horrible because children are the first to pick up on these things! As a young girl I loved Beyonce but had to play Kelly because I was dark skin and my friend was light skin. Let’s not even consider the fact that I was the only one that could sing. An example of how to a kid, the skin color takes precedence over talent. Times are changing but still this seems to be a problem still around.
I personally believe that every skin color is beautiful and should be embraced. I embrace my tan in the summer and refuse to be ashamed. It gets under my skin how even in the media “light is right” and “black is wack”. That probably wasn’t the best saying but I think you can get the over all effect of what I mean.
What do you think about society’s standard of beauty and it’s affect on the world around us?

She’s Thankful For……..??

It’s 1 am on Thanksgiving morning and although it is cliché, I really AM thankful. One of my favorite sayings is “Any day above ground is a good one”, because it holds so much more truth than we could even imagine. I find myself trying to let go of petty things and not let certain things annoy me because (and maybe this comes with age and maturity) LITERALLY, it is never guaranteed for you to wake up. So although this holiday may be based on some ( dismissive mumbles) *ahem* I will say that it does make me reflect. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my boyfriend, the opportunity to have another chance to get life right. And yes, it is very corny, but it is also truth. So maybe from this day on out I need to make my appreciation for life and people more known because today is not the only day to do so, and maybe Black Friday I’ll be back to complaining about how much life sucks. But I will try to focus on the positives and not the negatives. Well….that’s all I got lol so HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! 🙂

“So, What Are We?” Things Girls Say

I have a problem with relationships today. I don’t understand them…..at all. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have understood them 20 years ago either but it seems like they were better off then than they are now. In today’s society, the first issue is that we expect things and have standards that us ourselves don’t even meet. You want someone who hasn’t had X amount of partners however you yourself have had 30. You want someone with a steady job yet you don’t have one yourself. You want someone with morals and values yet you yourself have none. I don’t understand how that’s fair and how you can even meet someone you are truly compatible with if you don’t even meet your own standards. We must be realistic in our pursuit of happiness. Know what you’re actually worth.

Now say you’re at the point in your “courtship” where you realize this may be someone that you want to pursue something with. The next step is to of course make them your “girlfriend/boyfriend” right? WRONG! According to my peers, taking things to the next level of your relationship can totally screw everything up. You two like each other so much, that to actually claim that person as your significant other would totally and utterly ruin what you have. Does the logic in this really make sense? or is this an excuse? I believe that in today’s society we put so much pressure on relationships to the point where we completely dodge the possibility of it and live in the mind set of “ignorance is bliss”. “If we subconsciously fool ourselves into thinking we’re not together, but actually be together, we’ll be successful”.. -_-…..okay.

Well, if that’s what we’re going to roll with, what the hell are we leading up to? I refuse to be your untitled girlfriend. Next thing you know we’ll have a 12 year old child and still say we’re just “talking”.

Ultimately, I think that our generation has intimacy,trust,and commitment issues. We’ve seen movies, heard songs, and listened to our friends and family talk about their heartaches so much, we let them into our own lives and act like they happened to us. I refuse to not have a happy and have a healthy relationship because I am always checking over my friends shoulder and she’s checking over mine. Maybe you can’t actually fully trust someone. But if that’s the case, can you ever really love someone? When do you stop being a skeptic and just live your life. What happens will happen and YOU WILL LIVE. But when “not putting anything past anyone” turns into an excuse to do what you want, we’re starting a horrific cycle over again.

All in all, NO relationship is perfect. And I’m definitely no expert but I’m not scared to try it out. I’m not scared of my feelings being hurt because at the end of the day, when it’s worth it, its really worth it. If your interested in someone tell them, because playing games get old.Quick. We have to grow up eventually and being a young “player” turns into you being a creep even quicker. I’m rambling again but you get my point.