Category Archives: Relationships

The Average Woman’s Starting 5: Do You Know Your Position.

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Its December, the weather is cold, and once again we’ve arrived at what many call “Cuffing Season”. However this year, there is a different issue concerning friendships between men and women. Men are becoming frustrated with women beating around the bush, playing games, leading on and so on and so forth. One of my co-workers was complaining to me about a female that he was friends with. He was like “Man she been on some bullshit yo’. I helped her get her car fixed, paid her phone bill. Anytime she need a couple dollars, I be there, but she still aint giving up the box. I’m bout to cut her off my dude.” I told him, “my dude….u getting real mad, and using a whole lot of energy, and its not even her fault….it’s your fault.” Us guys need to realize that if we are not her man, then we have a position/role that we play in her life. Don’t get worked up because she on some bullshit, u gotta analyze your friendship and realize what role you play in her life. You can play 1 of 5 positions in her life.

1. Bus Boy

2. Intern

3. Temporary On Call

4. In Orientation

5. Her Man

Don’t believe me just watch NiggaNiggaNigga

1. Bus Boy   busboy

This nigga will do anything……..for nothing. This nigga will give u 1/2 of his check, do anything you need for no return. This nigga will go down and eat the box, get up and wipe his mouth off, and walk smooth out the door like the shit is over. A woman don’t want this type of guy for nothing but only for platonically using this nigga for personal advancement.

2. Intern    intern

Most “Good Guys” “Nice Guys” whatever the hell you want to call these nigga are also known as Interns. This guy is genuinely interested in a female. He gives good advice, and is there for the female whenever she needs him whether it’s personal or financial. Personal……or financial. Personal……or….financial. NEVER SEXUAL!!!! At the end of the day this nigga is an INTERN, which means that his services are voluntary and that he is ineligible for benefits. He just continues to play his position and hopes to get offered a position and gets an opportunity to be in Orientation, which is a position that will be covered momentarily.

3. Temporary On Call    temporary on call

This….Nigga…..Aint…..SHIT!!! Usually an ex boyfriend, drug dealer, aspiring rapper, or guy a female use to like, that has previously shown that he is not ready for a relationship, does not want a relationship, is going to continue to do whatever the hell he wanna do and could really give a damn about anything other than what the hell he got going on. “Damn T.Moe why is this temporary on call still in a female’s life if he aint shit?” I’ll tell you why. Because this nigga lays pipe like a muh fucka. This nigga usually gets the “hey u still up” “u tryna chill” “u been on my mind today” kind of texts, but at the end of the day this nigga aint shit but he lays pipe like an olympic plumber and females cant get enough of that shit.

4. In Orientation   orientation

This nigga is a genuine good friend, cares about a female, is there for her whenever she needs it.  He’s met some of her family and friends but he isn’t her man just yet; however, THIS NIGGA IS ELGIBLE FOR BENEFITS!!!!!!! He not her man, but he talks to her at all times of the day and night, takes her out, and taps that ass. Most guys aren’t ready to take the leap into a relationship, so a friendship where he can be a friend but at the same time have a spare key to that box is IDEAL.  At the end of the day, this nigga gets to have his cake and eat it too, but not for long, cuz females aint having that shit. I think their slogan is “hit this twice, we go together” or some shit like that, so while u in Orientation enjoy yourself.

5. Her Man   man

This nigga is her man. Self explanatory. This nigga is dishing out money, doing favors, tappin’ that ass, he’s on payroll, has a 401k benefit package, all that shit. However once in this position, you must not take your duties lightly, because women are sneaky. They’ll demote you and get someone to fill your position and you wont even know it. One minute you are her man, chillin with your feet up and the next minute you temporarily on call.

Be Smart, evaluate your friendships, and figure out what position you play.

Flashback!! “Diary of a Brown Girl”

So back when I had my blog at blogspot, I wrote a blog entitled “Diary of a Brown Girl”. It’s one of my favorite to date. I just wanted to share with you all. Hope you enjoy and leave your thoughts!!

This post is going to be a little personal but I feel it is very relevant to things I have been seeing and hearing lately. You know what, not even lately. It’s more like all my life. I just recently have come to terms with what I consider is beautiful. I will even go as far as to say I’ve just recently within the past two years become more comfortable in my own skin.
Growing up my family always told me I was pretty and up to a certain age I believed them. Then I hit the teenage, “growing into myself” phase. When you live in a society that embraces “good hair”, lighter skin, small facial features, and small frames, and you don’t have ANY of that…you start to second guess yourself. I’m brown skin (in the summer super dark), big nose, big teeth, chinky eyed girl with a big round head,and fat cheeks. I didn’t know what standard of beauty I fit. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think I fit any standard of beauty and the world around me seemed to support my thought process.
Now I am a 21 year old young woman and I actually do consider myself to be attractive and my self esteem is pretty high. Yet even now, I STILL am confronted with my standards of beauty. On numerous occasions I have been the exception to guys, “light skin” rule. And in my head I’m thinking, “so I guess only light skin girls can be insightful, down to earth, friendly, (and whatever else they like)”. I guess if your brown skin/dark skin you’re automatically knocked of the desirable list. I have even had a distant cousin come to me and say, “wow, I have a dark skin cousin…..AND SHE’S PRETTY!!”. What does that even mean?!
And it’s horrible because children are the first to pick up on these things! As a young girl I loved Beyonce but had to play Kelly because I was dark skin and my friend was light skin. Let’s not even consider the fact that I was the only one that could sing. An example of how to a kid, the skin color takes precedence over talent. Times are changing but still this seems to be a problem still around.
I personally believe that every skin color is beautiful and should be embraced. I embrace my tan in the summer and refuse to be ashamed. It gets under my skin how even in the media “light is right” and “black is wack”. That probably wasn’t the best saying but I think you can get the over all effect of what I mean.
What do you think about society’s standard of beauty and it’s affect on the world around us?

“So, What Are We?” Things Girls Say

I have a problem with relationships today. I don’t understand them…..at all. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have understood them 20 years ago either but it seems like they were better off then than they are now. In today’s society, the first issue is that we expect things and have standards that us ourselves don’t even meet. You want someone who hasn’t had X amount of partners however you yourself have had 30. You want someone with a steady job yet you don’t have one yourself. You want someone with morals and values yet you yourself have none. I don’t understand how that’s fair and how you can even meet someone you are truly compatible with if you don’t even meet your own standards. We must be realistic in our pursuit of happiness. Know what you’re actually worth.

Now say you’re at the point in your “courtship” where you realize this may be someone that you want to pursue something with. The next step is to of course make them your “girlfriend/boyfriend” right? WRONG! According to my peers, taking things to the next level of your relationship can totally screw everything up. You two like each other so much, that to actually claim that person as your significant other would totally and utterly ruin what you have. Does the logic in this really make sense? or is this an excuse? I believe that in today’s society we put so much pressure on relationships to the point where we completely dodge the possibility of it and live in the mind set of “ignorance is bliss”. “If we subconsciously fool ourselves into thinking we’re not together, but actually be together, we’ll be successful”.. -_-…..okay.

Well, if that’s what we’re going to roll with, what the hell are we leading up to? I refuse to be your untitled girlfriend. Next thing you know we’ll have a 12 year old child and still say we’re just “talking”.

Ultimately, I think that our generation has intimacy,trust,and commitment issues. We’ve seen movies, heard songs, and listened to our friends and family talk about their heartaches so much, we let them into our own lives and act like they happened to us. I refuse to not have a happy and have a healthy relationship because I am always checking over my friends shoulder and she’s checking over mine. Maybe you can’t actually fully trust someone. But if that’s the case, can you ever really love someone? When do you stop being a skeptic and just live your life. What happens will happen and YOU WILL LIVE. But when “not putting anything past anyone” turns into an excuse to do what you want, we’re starting a horrific cycle over again.

All in all, NO relationship is perfect. And I’m definitely no expert but I’m not scared to try it out. I’m not scared of my feelings being hurt because at the end of the day, when it’s worth it, its really worth it. If your interested in someone tell them, because playing games get old.Quick. We have to grow up eventually and being a young “player” turns into you being a creep even quicker. I’m rambling again but you get my point.